I've been teaching holistic healing and women's wisdom for over 30 years. My life’s work is devoted to supporting women on your journey of healing and wholeness.

Embracing your feelings starts with being able to identify and name them. That’s where my Wise Woman Feelings Wheel comes in.

Let me tell you how it came about.

I studied Nonviolent Communication over several decades . . . circling back again and again to study with various teachers who popped up in my life.

Regardless of the teacher, when the class inevitably came around to a list of feelings and emotions, I got overwhelmed.

Not only because I felt so many of them. But also because there were far too many to remember.

I just couldn’t keep track of them all! Struggling, I wondered, “Where are the hooks to hang these things on? Do I have to memorize a list in alphabetical order? Geez, could I place these on my body somehow? ”

Then one day, I realized . . . aha, I could overlay them with the cycles of nature!

On a seemingly separate track, I’d become a lifelong student (and teacher) of the Wise Woman Tradition, in which we embrace the spiral of light and dark.

We see the natural cycles reflected within ourselves—the cycles of night and day . . . dark moon and full moon . . . winter and summer. You reflect nature and nature reflects you.

Then it all fell into place—if feelings are within me, they must also have a place in the cycles of nature. From there, I overlaid groups of feelings with the phases of the moon, a visual reminder of the natural range of feelings.

An invitation to embrace your feelings day and night, one season to the next.  

Edith and Kirsten had lived in the same neighborhood for years but only saw each other in passing occasionally.

At a neighborhood block party Edith overheard Kirsten joking with another neighbor that Edith’s garden was out of control and looked like a “weed patch.”

At first Edith didn’t say anything, although inside she was stewing. When they bumped into each other at the drinks table, she decided to speak up.

With heat rising in her chest, Edith felt an impulse to cut Kirsten down. Edith took a deep breath, tucked away her boxing gloves, and took the risk of sharing her true feelings.

“Hey Kristen, I heard you joking about my garden being out of control. I feel hurt . . . and actually rather irritable, around that.”

“I’m experimenting with native plants as a community restoration project that I’m really excited about. I know you’re also into gardening, and I could actually use your help. But right now I’m feeling uncertain about whether it’s even up your alley.”

Kristen felt touched, surprised to hear Edith share her feelings so authentically.

Kristen’s heart opened, she acknowledged the impact of her comment and asked to hear more about the restoration project. She decided she’d love to contribute.

Having cleared the air, the two women made a date to meet in the garden that weekend. They quickly gained trust in one another. Enjoying the spunk they found in one another, they realized they shared other common interests.

Soon they became best friends. Over the decades, Edith and Kristen shared many aspects of their lives together.

They often joked about their rocky start—grateful that rather than devolving into a fight, Edith shared her true feelings. Thus they found a long-lasting, treasured friendship.

Maybe you feel overwhelmed at the prospect of connecting with your feelings—especially rough ones like sadness and anger.

You may be wondering, “Does this get easier somehow—all these feelings?”

Yes, it does get easier, starting with the key step of identifying what you’re feeling inside.

It’s okay to have rough feelings—look at the animal world. Doesn’t your puppy mope around if you’re busy when she wants to connect? Of course, she’s feeling sad or lonely!

And when animals are threatened, they show their anger in no uncertain terms—growling through barred teeth, claws poised to strike.

When you connect with your own rough feelings, you can plumb your depths for the truth of who you are and what you long for.

And it’s natural to have sweet feelings too!

When your pussycat is feeling joyful and loving, she lets you know in no uncertain terms—curling up on your lap purring, rubbing her chin against your hand.  

As you offer your own truth to others, you also open the door for authentic communications to flow both ways.